The new site launches March 6th, 2005, and I need to get busy. Meanwhile, read the archives, email me your site ideas & feedback, or just sit on your thumbs & keep lurking.
When I come back, I'm coming back to:
http://www.sagaciously.net
...shhh...it's coming...3/6/05...I promise... ;-)
UPDATE: the site went live March 6, 2005.
Monday, February 14, 2005
Friday, February 11, 2005
40 hours/week of ridiculousness
So, it's performance evaluation & promotion time! That's right party-people - time for my project managers & leads to roll out the bullshyt carpet, and lay on another layer, to keep folks from walking out of the building when they announce which member of the brown-noser-of-the-month club got kicked upstairs this year. Whoopee!
Seriously though - and fyi, it's really not the hormones talking today - this shyt is amusing to me now. See, the thing is - nepotism is so rampant at my gig, that even some of the brown-nosers are nailing my PM's & PL's to the wall about this process. You can only shake that carrot in front of the horse for so long, until the horse says "f&*% this, I ain't moving until you just gimme some water!"
Here's how they 'splain the process occurs:
The PM's & PL's get together, and rate each employee's performance on a scale of 1-5, where 5 = Exceeding all standards, and performing at the next level higher than their current position. Then, they take a look at all the 5's, and rank them based on their past ratings/rankings, current job responsibilities, challenge level of their work, priority/visibility of their work, etc..etc..etc. Then, based on budget constraints, number of available positions, etc - the highest rated AND ranked people get promotions, and the rest of the employees wait until next year and hope for the best. No 5's = no promotions. Nice.
Here's how it actually occurs:
The PM's & PL's can barely stand to be around each other, and their performance evaluations are based partially on their ability to develop their employees. So, anytime someone pitches for their own employee to get promoted, some other PL takes a huge swig of haterade, and spits out some 'ole bullshyt to keep that person from getting promoted:
PL#1: I'm suggesting a 5 for Joe Smith
PL#2: Joe Smith spends too much time away from his desk. I see him everyday walking around the building between 9:45 and 10:00AM, then again between 12:00 and 12:30, and in the afternoon again at 3PM. When does he have time for being a 5?!
PL#1: Joe's got a heart condition - he walks for fitness.
PL#2: He should get a treadmill, and walk at home. Jane Doe's a 5, and you never see her leave her desk....
I love it! This hyper-competitive environment guarantees that anyone remotely attempting to get promoted will be killing themselves to get a 5, with no guarantees they'll actually be promoted. Meanwhile, the department is ensured that they're getting the maximum performance out of each employee, without spending one extra friggin dime to get it. Sweet. So, when one-brown noser gets himself bent outta shape about the process...
Brown-noser: Ok, so what you're telling me is, I can be a 5 and KNOW I'm functioning at the next level, and my boss can know I'm functioning at the next level, and once those ratings come out, I can still end up #4 on the list, and if the budget warrants it, or for various other reasons, I may not get promoted.
PL#1: Yes.
Brown-noser: So, what about the frustration level this creates...I mean what if people just decide to leave...
PL#1(interrupting): ...that's one of the risks of the system that we have to accept. I just recommended 2 people for promotions for 2005, and both are now leaving, because neither of them got it...
Brown-noser: And you're ok with this???
PL#1: This is the best system we've come up with under the circumstances...blah...blah...blah...
...internally, I'm chuckling my a$$ off. There really IS no such thing as a merit-based promotion (their term) and this shyt happens once/year. Now, they do promote other folks based on "business need" (read: just because they feel like it - and need a justification for it) any time they want to without a)those employees going through this process and b) without actually announcing it. Even sweeter - that's nepotism at it's finest. We know several people that have been kicked upstairs for their knob-slobbing capabilities, a$$-kissing capabilities, and a coupla dumb-a$$es that have been here so long - they just needed to get them outta the way so they could hire some fresh meat, so they created titles/positions for them <- BAM, there you have - the winners of the nepotism-lottery Big Game.
Did'ja read that a sista is trying to become self-employed, or do some consulting work? Is your company hiring? I do Java, J2EE, Unix, HTML, Graphics,..hell, I'll even do Windows, yanno....
...and yes, I do know that along with a new gig, I need some fresh a$$ also - I'm working on that too...
Seriously though - and fyi, it's really not the hormones talking today - this shyt is amusing to me now. See, the thing is - nepotism is so rampant at my gig, that even some of the brown-nosers are nailing my PM's & PL's to the wall about this process. You can only shake that carrot in front of the horse for so long, until the horse says "f&*% this, I ain't moving until you just gimme some water!"
Here's how they 'splain the process occurs:
The PM's & PL's get together, and rate each employee's performance on a scale of 1-5, where 5 = Exceeding all standards, and performing at the next level higher than their current position. Then, they take a look at all the 5's, and rank them based on their past ratings/rankings, current job responsibilities, challenge level of their work, priority/visibility of their work, etc..etc..etc. Then, based on budget constraints, number of available positions, etc - the highest rated AND ranked people get promotions, and the rest of the employees wait until next year and hope for the best. No 5's = no promotions. Nice.
Here's how it actually occurs:
The PM's & PL's can barely stand to be around each other, and their performance evaluations are based partially on their ability to develop their employees. So, anytime someone pitches for their own employee to get promoted, some other PL takes a huge swig of haterade, and spits out some 'ole bullshyt to keep that person from getting promoted:
PL#1: I'm suggesting a 5 for Joe Smith
PL#2: Joe Smith spends too much time away from his desk. I see him everyday walking around the building between 9:45 and 10:00AM, then again between 12:00 and 12:30, and in the afternoon again at 3PM. When does he have time for being a 5?!
PL#1: Joe's got a heart condition - he walks for fitness.
PL#2: He should get a treadmill, and walk at home. Jane Doe's a 5, and you never see her leave her desk....
I love it! This hyper-competitive environment guarantees that anyone remotely attempting to get promoted will be killing themselves to get a 5, with no guarantees they'll actually be promoted. Meanwhile, the department is ensured that they're getting the maximum performance out of each employee, without spending one extra friggin dime to get it. Sweet. So, when one-brown noser gets himself bent outta shape about the process...
Brown-noser: Ok, so what you're telling me is, I can be a 5 and KNOW I'm functioning at the next level, and my boss can know I'm functioning at the next level, and once those ratings come out, I can still end up #4 on the list, and if the budget warrants it, or for various other reasons, I may not get promoted.
PL#1: Yes.
Brown-noser: So, what about the frustration level this creates...I mean what if people just decide to leave...
PL#1(interrupting): ...that's one of the risks of the system that we have to accept. I just recommended 2 people for promotions for 2005, and both are now leaving, because neither of them got it...
Brown-noser: And you're ok with this???
PL#1: This is the best system we've come up with under the circumstances...blah...blah...blah...
...internally, I'm chuckling my a$$ off. There really IS no such thing as a merit-based promotion (their term) and this shyt happens once/year. Now, they do promote other folks based on "business need" (read: just because they feel like it - and need a justification for it) any time they want to without a)those employees going through this process and b) without actually announcing it. Even sweeter - that's nepotism at it's finest. We know several people that have been kicked upstairs for their knob-slobbing capabilities, a$$-kissing capabilities, and a coupla dumb-a$$es that have been here so long - they just needed to get them outta the way so they could hire some fresh meat, so they created titles/positions for them <- BAM, there you have - the winners of the nepotism-lottery Big Game.
Did'ja read that a sista is trying to become self-employed, or do some consulting work? Is your company hiring? I do Java, J2EE, Unix, HTML, Graphics,..hell, I'll even do Windows, yanno....
...and yes, I do know that along with a new gig, I need some fresh a$$ also - I'm working on that too...
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
critical mass - the de-lurker edition.
I need a self-employment strategy.
As you should already well-know, I'm the single parent of a handicapped child. Along with the pressures of single motherhood, stresses of working for a Fortune 5, and general life pressures, I have the added stress of dealing with his disabilities. Add to that my living in a soon-to-be-gentrified-still-impoverished area, and the choices for daycare/after-school care facilities for him, and my stress-levels reach critical mass.
My son's tired-ghetto-a$$ school closes at least twice a month. Boiler issues, weather conditions,a chemical spill 30 miles away, lack of adequate numbers of students, hell, even an eclipse - it takes little reason for them to close, leaving me scrambling to find a backup to the backup plan. My sitters aren't returning my calls, my neighbors aren't reliable. Frustration doesn't begin to cover it. Friends suggest considering a teaching career, or freelance consulting work - but the transition has its pitfalls. My son requires health insurance, so I've been incredibly wary of transitioning.
But my normal stress level (from my overfull-plate) is twice as high as a normal person. Wrenches in my plans, like the ghetto-daycare-center closing every other week, tend to take it high enough to bust forehead veins and send me straight to the hospital. My fibroids are kickin' a hole in my back, legs & gut that even Tylenol-Pamprin cocktails barely knocks back, the bloodloss is giving my anemic-a$$ migraines and my hormones are all over the map. Something has to give, and I'm trying to ensure that it's not my sanity.
I need help, or at least a clue. And not the "hm...maybe you should meditate" kind of help either.
Has anyone created their own self-employment strategy? Have you leveraged your skills to create a situation conducive to parenting/living? Any suggestions? Tips? Viable advice? (I'm, er - middle income k-solo. If I leave the Fortune 5 - I need to stay that way.)
Does anyone have a rich, single African-American male friend looking for a ready-made family?
As you should already well-know, I'm the single parent of a handicapped child. Along with the pressures of single motherhood, stresses of working for a Fortune 5, and general life pressures, I have the added stress of dealing with his disabilities. Add to that my living in a soon-to-be-gentrified-still-impoverished area, and the choices for daycare/after-school care facilities for him, and my stress-levels reach critical mass.
My son's tired-ghetto-a$$ school closes at least twice a month. Boiler issues, weather conditions,a chemical spill 30 miles away, lack of adequate numbers of students, hell, even an eclipse - it takes little reason for them to close, leaving me scrambling to find a backup to the backup plan. My sitters aren't returning my calls, my neighbors aren't reliable. Frustration doesn't begin to cover it. Friends suggest considering a teaching career, or freelance consulting work - but the transition has its pitfalls. My son requires health insurance, so I've been incredibly wary of transitioning.
But my normal stress level (from my overfull-plate) is twice as high as a normal person. Wrenches in my plans, like the ghetto-daycare-center closing every other week, tend to take it high enough to bust forehead veins and send me straight to the hospital. My fibroids are kickin' a hole in my back, legs & gut that even Tylenol-Pamprin cocktails barely knocks back, the bloodloss is giving my anemic-a$$ migraines and my hormones are all over the map. Something has to give, and I'm trying to ensure that it's not my sanity.
I need help, or at least a clue. And not the "hm...maybe you should meditate" kind of help either.
Has anyone created their own self-employment strategy? Have you leveraged your skills to create a situation conducive to parenting/living? Any suggestions? Tips? Viable advice? (I'm, er - middle income k-solo. If I leave the Fortune 5 - I need to stay that way.)
Does anyone have a rich, single African-American male friend looking for a ready-made family?
Monday, February 07, 2005
weekend update - 2/07/05
the entire list is pretty much baconstraw - and makes about as much sense as a straw made of bacon
Bakers Dozen c/o KB via ej.
Bakers Dozen c/o KB via ej.
- baconstraw with E:: the King of early morning Poo Jokes (who heretofore shall be referred to as the King of Poo)
- 6AM:: bootleg cell phone calls "Can you hear me now?" HELL NO!!!
- 7AM:: the King of Poo: "I sharted"
- 10AM:: Java & a steaming Heap with the King of Poo
- the Lifepath Lottery (career scratch off NE1?)
- Jealousy in a non-existant relationship?!!!
- L & L interiors
- bamboo cut lines
- reading:: the Lexus & the Olive Tree
- random starbucks thought: the line we each cut thru the world
- updated the 101
- no, I don't want a man whose a$$ is big as mine, no matter how fly that a$$ is. Thank you very much though.
Sunday, February 06, 2005
the 101 list update II
I updated the 101 in 1001 and I'm learning some things about myself::
These posts are going to become fewer & far between from now thru 3/6/05. I have to get my new site - sagaciously.net laid out, organized and (frankly) designed. If you have ideas, please email me.
- Not becoming an evil, vengeful bitch when I get pissed off is easier said than done. Even if it's in my best interests.
- I have excellent intentions. And my follow-thru (when it comes to treating MYSELF better that is) sucks.
- Nappy. Definitely. Period.
- I'm being too easily influenced by negative things in my life, and I'm giving them more weight & energy than they deserve. I need to work on that.
These posts are going to become fewer & far between from now thru 3/6/05. I have to get my new site - sagaciously.net laid out, organized and (frankly) designed. If you have ideas, please email me.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
crabs in a barrel
a Leroy-ism:: "If you put three black people in a room together, two of them will get together to talk about the third."
Sidebar about the Leroy-isms: my daddy, although a H.S. dropout, could be rather bourgeois - hence my penchant for $500 Louis Vitton words - he would accept no less. So, he was full of comments related to Capitalism, classism, and navigating this inherently racist framework in which we live (he wasn't trying to go back to the Motherland, and neither am I).
The subject at hand::
I'm sure all of y'all have heard this saying, right? "Acting like crabs in a barrel"? So I'm not going into a detailed explanation. However, this has been on my mind for the last few weeks, for several reasons:
This drives me crazy, why?
Scenario 1-3: all involved parties are African-American.
Scenario 4: all parties involved are holding Green cards, from predominantly Eastern cultures (India, Asia, etc.)
What da hell are we thinking about, yall? Seriously. We're no longer just operating within the framework of a classist-Capitalist-racist culture. We're also competing on a global scale, and we still are scrabbling on each other's backs to get out of that barrel. Hell, that barrel is floating on a raft, across the Pacific Ocean, being tossed about by oceanliners shipping jobs, aid, and cultures in both directions. Why are we still creating this self-hatin' drama?
Sidebar about the Leroy-isms: my daddy, although a H.S. dropout, could be rather bourgeois - hence my penchant for $500 Louis Vitton words - he would accept no less. So, he was full of comments related to Capitalism, classism, and navigating this inherently racist framework in which we live (he wasn't trying to go back to the Motherland, and neither am I).
The subject at hand::
I'm sure all of y'all have heard this saying, right? "Acting like crabs in a barrel"? So I'm not going into a detailed explanation. However, this has been on my mind for the last few weeks, for several reasons:
- the Vixen is a lil PO'ed because I've been spending too much time with some other folks, and not enuff time with her. I know this, because a mutual friend made a comment that I know fell directly outta her mouth. AND she's not happy that I haven't been consulting her enuff about my choice of new abode.
- A colleague of mine was up for a promotion, and I think a higher-level manager threw a wrench in the plan, shortly before the hiring manager was due to make a decision.
- In the breakroom at work, there are marked divisions in the table assignments, and noticeable changes in the volume level of conversations when certain people walk by or in & out.
- I've noticed some of our consultants work together, take lunch together, play ping-pong together, and have study-groups onsite after work.
This drives me crazy, why?
Scenario 1-3: all involved parties are African-American.
Scenario 4: all parties involved are holding Green cards, from predominantly Eastern cultures (India, Asia, etc.)
What da hell are we thinking about, yall? Seriously. We're no longer just operating within the framework of a classist-Capitalist-racist culture. We're also competing on a global scale, and we still are scrabbling on each other's backs to get out of that barrel. Hell, that barrel is floating on a raft, across the Pacific Ocean, being tossed about by oceanliners shipping jobs, aid, and cultures in both directions. Why are we still creating this self-hatin' drama?
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